Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
