Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
