I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
