3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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