I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
