whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
