It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
