I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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