Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize