it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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