Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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