OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
