are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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