see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
