Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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