I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
