Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
