why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
