I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
