her vagine was all disorganized.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
