Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize