I must be too annoying 4 u.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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