he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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