You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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