So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
