How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
