at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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