walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
