Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
