fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
