can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You are a genius and a whore.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
