There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
