He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
