I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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