i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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