just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Drunk is not a location!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
