I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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