sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize