somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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