I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
