he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
