This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
