No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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