Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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