we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
