You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
