Don't you send me to vm
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
