Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
