so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize