I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
