I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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