id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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