Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am midnight drunk by noon
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
