He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
this will be a night to untag.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
